Heaven+vs.+Wal+Mart

~ Heaven Vs. Wal-Mart ~

I consider Wal-Mart to be God's gift to shoppers. Literally, here are the similitudes I have noticed between The kingdom of Heaven and The Kingdom of Everyday Low Prices.

Heaven: St. Peter greets you at the gates. Wal-Mart: Some old geezer named Peter greets you at the automatic doors.

Heaven: Eternal Wal-Mart: Open 24 hours

Heaven: Where old people go when they expire. Wal-Mart: Where old people go when they retire.

Heaven: Plenty of Room for everyone who loves God. Wal-Mart: Plenty of Parking for Everyone.

Heaven: Golden-haired angels shouting the glory of God. Wal Mart: Purple-haired obese women shouting for a price check on diapers.

Heaven: Salvation and redemption no matter what your sin. Wal-Mart: Full money refund on no matter what your complaint.

Heaven: EDLP = Every Do-gooder lives peacefully. Wal-Mart: EDLP = Every day low prices.

Heaven: Sam Walton -- now a resident! Wal-Mart: Sam's choice cola -- now on sale!